Top 5 sentences you MUST say to a German of the opposite sex (or if you are homosexual... you know what I mean)

(above: Such big... jugs? Oh, you're drinking beer as well!)

*MALE CHAUVINISM ALERT* (cr*p! just wrote it too late!)

Everyone knows that flirting with foreign people is really demanding. You have to know loads and loads of factors when approaching a man (if you are a woman or a male homosexual or a man who has suffered several surgery operations) or a woman (if you are the rest of people not noted before) from a foreign country.

In this blog, we (me and my monkey-scriptwriter who smokes big amounts of cigarettes and speaks French) are very concerned with main needs of living beings, i.e.: being born, growing, reproducing and dying.

Today, we are dealing with the third one. To do so, we are giving out 5 quotes you MUST say when facing a German (which as we all know, are from Germany) to break the ice.

5. "Hi, I'm Abraham! NO, don't put me into a gas chamber!" 'Abraham' can be swapped for 'Chartered accountant' or 'Harry Potter'

4. "Der wer zwei peanuts valking down the strasse, und denn von vas assaulted... peanut. Ho! Ho! Ho!" (c) 1969 Monty Python's Flying Circus

3. "I had a house in Berlin: it had 5 walls." That used to be top 1 before 1989. 

2. "Ich bin ein fauler Hodensack." Literal translation: "I'm in love with you, darling"

1. "Do you want to see a proper Bratwurst?". This sentence is only applicable to men and/or special women.

If you can't get it done with those tips then you are a racist, have prejudice towards foreigners and stereotype nationalities.

THE WELSH PATIENT says: "In Barcelona that's easier: just give her a tenner"