This is history!

(above: Gazza has a strong opinion on Americans)

That's the news, Ladies and Gentlemen. As an odd passport holder, I forgive you Brits! Never mind Gibraltar. Never mind the Anglo-Spanish war (1585-1604). Never mind Jonathan Woodgate.

Now it's time to keep together. This week's most relevant news is that by 2010 British Airways and Iberia (a Spanish company which owns some planes, even though in some summers we don't want to use them... can't be bothered) will merge to become one single company. BA will own 55% and Iberia 45% of shares. This means that you (we) British rule. Ipso facto, Iberia planes will have to fly on the left side of the air.

Fair enough. But now, our aim is beat those Americans. Now they think they're better than us. Of course, they've discovered large amounts water up there somewhere in the outer space. It doesn't impress me at all: if you go to Costa Brava, there's plenty of it as well and we discovered it in the late 60's.

But if they wanted to beat anyone, they've chosen the wrong enemy. Iberia has been working on a top secret project, and yet now Iberia will work hand in hand with British Airways we can reveal it. Iberia has been working on a rocket to beat the Americans. We are sending that rocket to the sun. But we won't get burnt, we're not fool. We're sending it at night.

THE WELSH PATIENT says: "Is being dragged off from a pub considered as a journey?"