Top 5 rejection reasons from the opposite sex -female-.

(above: 'What do you mean by that? 'Maybe'?')

To the last girl that has rejected me, who unfortunately for her family and relatives, is still among us.

*HARDCORE BITTERNESS COMBINED WITH DARK HUMOUR ALERT* (too late. Shame...)

Being rejected by anyone from the opposite sex is always hard to get over due to reasons that are plentiful in abstract nouns I don't understand. However, like Jean-Baptiste Lamarck stated: 'the over-function of an organ makes an improved new organ to balance it out'. What's my point in that, then? My point in there is that one has been so many times rejected that now I don't appreciate the bitterness of rejection anymore but the originality in the reasons of rejection.

This is why my last experience was so bad: she didn't give any reasons at all. Probably, she might work as a magician: 'Alright, trust me. There was no rabbit in the hat before. You have such a tiny brain to understand it. Trust me anyway'.

And now, the best reasons. There we go. T-T-T-TOP 5, BRIIIIING IT ON!

'I'm rejecting you because...'

5- '... you were listening to Ricky Martin'. Unintentional but fair.

4- '... yesterday I saw you in front of a day-care centre naked from the waist down and wearing a kaki-coloured trench coat claiming you had some sweets for my 4-year-old brother. Stay away from me'. Such a superficial interpretation of what I actually did. Read between the lines...

3- '... you have a protection from harassment order of a mile'. It was my second go. By the way, a mile is 52 mm, isn't it?

2- '... I'm a man'. 2 lessons from that: always wear glasses or lenses and women's clothing doesn't assure you a woman in there. It's also known as the 'Kinder Surprise effect': you unwrap it and there is a present waiting for you to be assembled.

1- '... now my husband is an MP'. Adaptation from Quim Monzó, 2010.

THE WELSH PATIENT says: 'I myself have never been rejected by anybody. Every time anyone wants to tell me his opinion on me I shout before 'I don't like you! I'm leaving you!' just in case.