Ice, ice, baby!

(above: indeed, I hate 90% of stuff related with ice. The remaining 10% is that film called Ice Wide Shut by Stanley Kubrick.) 

Today's post contains certain amounts of social critique, witty comments and Victorian literature as well as -in larger amounts- demagogy, swearwords, explicit references to drugs, flashing lights and X-Factor jury.

According to BBC News: 'Snoooooooow!!!! Yeeepee!!!! Afghanistan? What you on about? IT'SNOOOOOOWIN!'

However, this snow has turned into ice due to some climatic factors I do ignore and, therefore, now walking down the street has turned into a dead-or-alive matter. I myself have been close to death today several times as a consequence of the slippery surface of the pavement.

This is why today I have come across my life in photos several times, too. Nevertheless, since I belong to a Facebook-junkie generation , my life was composed such as a Facebook photo album where there were comments on photos I uploaded or I was tagged throughout the years. My most relevant pre-death mental Facebook photo album comments were the following.

- 'Mufasaaaaaa!' (At a pic of me crying while watching The Lion King)

- 'me mum says i aint fat, i'm strong and ave thick bones' (At a pic of me & my friends when I was a pre-teenager and a bit overfed).

- 'this is soo oonfair. i hate ya!' (At a pic of me & my parents when my face looked like a pizza with extra pepperoni)

- 'hehe.i'm moe.LOL' (At a pic of me tagged at a random face of a Simpsons character).

- 'charlie's angels!!! LMAO' (At a pic of me and my ambiguous friends before discovering our actual sexuality).

- 'ya biatch! just let u know mine is average size! c***!' (At a pic of me & my ex-girlfriend).

- 'thats not me...' (At a pic of me tagged in a very similar face to mine but obviously he's not me).

- 'hehe. i'm apu. LOL' (At a pic of me tagged at another random face of a Simpsons character added by another friend of mine).

 

This horrible experience made me think seriously about life, as a result I came up with a metaphor that sums all my ponderation up: life is like a window, when there is a lot of light you roll down the blinds just unlike your dreams, which are like milk because the cow... what a sh**e of a metaphor. Anyway, forget that. I've never been good at poetry -suffering from tuberculosis at 25 have never turned me on as a lifestyle-.

THE WELSH PATIENT says: "I once was an important businessman. I set up a company that manufactured best-selling ice cream flavours all around the world and Warwickshire. Some of our best-known flavours were human poo ice cream and milkman ice cream. Not to mention our delicatessen: chartered accountant ice cream. Caprice de dieux, which in French means, Crap ice of two (ice cream balls, obviously)".