Top 5 things I have been told because of my odd passport

(above: that's what you call in Latin Anus Horribilis)

The audience is wondering 'Why only 5?'. The answer is pretty easy: I don't want to be sued by David Letterman -mostly now when he is being a bit 'courted' (get the pun? no? then it's my fault)-.

5. "Are you Spanish? Seriously? Your skin is white..."

4. " - Where about in Spain then?

      - Girona?

      - ...

      - Barcelona?

      - ...

      - Lloret de Mar?

      - Awww! I see. Cool.

    - Well, some people think that Catalonia (the region (?) where I live) is not Spain. That comes from centuries ago when...

      - Oi! I got it. Alright? Don't mess with it."

3. "I loooooove paella". You mean you want me to cook you some? Or you wanted to say 'you' instead of 'paella'? If second, there you go my phone number.

2. "How would you say in Spanish 'At what time arrives the train?'". I swear that happened. It was this morning in Cardiff City Centre. It's OK if you ask me for that if you are close to a train station in Spain or in Central and South America, not if you are in a crowded high street and trying to explain you are an ecologist from Friends of the Earth.

1. "HAHAHA! No. Now seriously. Where are you from?"

THE WELSH PATIENT says: "Do you want some leeks?"